Why don’t we all develop such an attitude, since we are all in a sense terminally ill ? Aren’t we all incurably sick with the oldest known disease called Mortality ? I had it all, as it seemed to me: I was deeply loved by my dear wife and adored by my sweet daughters, I also loved them so much, I was surrounded by affection from my biological family, I was successful at my job as a director of a representative office of a respectable international company, I was progressing in my aikido classes which brought me both inner peace and outer strength, and I just established my own company that gave me so much joy and took so much of my free time too… Life was great! Everything was just perfect with lots of plans to make it even more such.
How did that happen? How come? But… how was it possible that such a young and healthy girl simply got a myocardial infarction that left her no chance to live? These were the questions that all of us were asking.
Benjamin Franklin said “That which hurts, also instructs.” I also thought of Napoleon Hill’s famous words, “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” Whereas it would be blasphemously or too early to search for benefits in a situation like this, I decided to look for the instructions.
Whereas the lessons may be the most valuable in my life, the method of delivering them was quite harsh.
I saw how rapidly the whole world could go upside down and all the plans, all the hopes, all the worries, all the resentment, all the joy, all the happiness, and all of the life could disappear in one glimpse.
Trying to succeed in several spheres of my life, I feel I’ve been missing the thrill of Being in the Moment.
No. Happiness comes from little things that make us humans: an intimate talk with our spouse; a playing time with our kids; a cup of tea with our aging parents, a good book or a movie that makes us think; a cold ice-cream on a hot summer day; a glass of draught beer together with a friend; a simple compliment from our beloved one; a good jogging in the morning forest, and progressive realization of our great goals.
On the contrary, I loved it, I loved her, and I was happy… as I see it now.
We are all different in how we show our feelings and emotions.
Once we start living with a person, however dear and loved that person is, we start taking her or him for granted.
Maybe this doesn’t relate to you and you are showing your beloved ones through your deeds how incredibly blessed you are to have them in your life, but I know it refers to me.
How ready are we to make a compromise in a fight for something that is important to us but is also important for our beloved one? How ready are we to make an extra effort to make her happy? I knew that my Volia loved, just simply adored, white calla flowers.
Guess how often I was giving her white calla flowers? Several times per year… as I thought buying flowers was a waste of money.
During Volia’s funeral* *there were so many flowers all around her* as* *never before in her entire life.
The reason is simple: there may be no tomorrow, there may be no second chance, there may be no next time.
Have you been too occupied with yourself and your problems to tell your darling how great she looks? Maybe now is a good time, as any other time is under question.
Have you been too full with pride to acknowledge your mistake and ask your brother for forgiveness? If you doubt whether to do it now, think how you would feel if he were gone forever without saying “Goodbye.” I’d prefer to learn these lessons in another way, like most of you, by just reading the article, understanding the idea, and following the advice.
Life gave me no second chance in this game it chose to play.
I am learning to show my dearest ones* e very day how truly adored, loved, and valued they are* , because I know that another chance is not guaranteed.
In loving memory of Volia Tenincheva: my wife, my friend, my soulmate.
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