Sam played sax in the school jazz band, but when he had trouble learning to read music, he dropped the class.
Success Tool 1: Learn to Manage Frustration Sam, like many kids, lacked good frustration tolerance, which is an important life skill that can help create success.
In order to overcome his frustration, Sam needed to learn to hang in there when the going got rough by doing the following: 1.
Sam needed to develop a stronger ability to contain more frustration.
Most people leave the present moment and give up because they imagine that it’s too difficult, but Sam became skilled at bringing his mind back to the task in front of him.
Several weeks later, Sam ran into his familiar old problems when he faced the opposing team’s incredibly strong defense.
Every time Sam tried to gain some yards, he would get tackled to the ground by the other players, and he was soon haunted by his emotional reactions.
Coach Allen saw the problem and talked with Sam about getting a stronger interpersonal defense system.
Without these limits, Sam had learned to take the easy way out instead of developing the important character trait of persistence.
Sam talked about how his dad would take away his computer privileges for poor grades, but then his dad would get drunk and give the privileges right back.
As a result, Sam was not learning to persist when challenged or even to stick with his homework assignments, which are necessary for success in life.
Coach understood a few things about relationship therapy and knew that Sam wanted help, and he said, “I’ll work with you and help you, but it’s going to take hard work and time to become a good player.” Coach told Sam that perseverance is the ultimate tool in the game of life.
Since persistency is closely connected with breaking the procrastination habit, Coach wasn’t surprised to learn that Sam had been a 5-star procrastinator.
Gradually, Sam began to feel like a different person.
Sam reported, “Hey, I feel a sense of accomplishment and positive energy when I get stuff done.” He also said he felt empowered as he increasingly postponed spending time on Facebook.
Procrastinators postpone doing what they don’t want to do, and Sam learned to put off what he did want to do.
Sam had cut his Facebook time in half, and the time spent there was much more rewarding.
Best of all, Sam was handing in his assignments on time, getting good grades and starting to feel a growing sense of confidence.
With time, Sam encouraged his teammates even when they made mistakes, which made him even more popular.
Success Tool 6: Set Motivating, Measurable Goals Sam had vague goals regarding football and life.
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